Release

I have been told that I breathe too much of my life into these pages. I tell too much. However I bleed through these sentences and the messages are my heartbeat. I would die if I didn’t share myself with you from lack of release. My son is suffering in a hospital because he has a problem releasing what he is feeling. I know he got it honest because I talk about some things that are bothering me but I don’t really release until the words hit this page. The words that I write here heal me as much as I hope they help you. So when you read something here and say to yourself I can’t believe she shared that don’t only think about how that may help someone in that situation but that it’s also therapy for me.

I am suffering from a flare-up right now. If you have not ever experienced a fibro flare up let me open up a window to my pain. My whole body hurts from the top off my head to the bottom of my feet. My skin hurts when air hits it. My normal pain is multiplied by the least three during a flare-up. Meaning if it usually takes me 10 minutes to get up and out of the bed it now takes me a half a n hour.  Add the flare-up to the thing my body is going through because of the changes in the weather. It’s the beginning of spring in Chicago, which means that it can go from jacket to winter coat in one afternoon. My back and knees get to hurting and I can’t even stand for longer than five minutes.  Even when I sit I can’t stay in one position.

I am working on becoming a better organized person. I won’t say that I’m disorganized but I wouldn’t say that I am organized either but I am in the middle working towards it. One of the things that I do to work towards it is I make schedules. I keep a very detail planner with all of my appointments. I also make a schedule dictating what I do on days I am home. One of the things that I have put on the most recent revision of the weekly schedule is mandatory one hour of writing. I am hoping that this will not only let me make more frequent posts to this blog but also allow me to work on my novel. (Once I get it off my old computer.)

I have a lot of work to do in my life, my home, and my heart. I am working on it I swear I am and I am going to continue to work on it at my own pace. Hopefully I know that with help I can make it happen. If you all continue to read and support me and my releases then we will make it through.