Family and Friends

I can’t believe that people are so inconsiderate.

As a young person living with Fibro most people don’t believe or want to believe that I even have the disorder not to mention the other things going on with me health wise. It doesn’t surprise me when people raise their eyebrows or look at me funny when they find out my age. I really almost laughed out loud when the phlebotomist that came to my home looked around me to ask where the person was that she was sticking.

I am used to the strange looks from doctors, nurses, and the like but when it is people that know you that are giving you strange looks. Your family and friends that have known you for years are looking at you or talking to you as if you just got lazy one day and refuse to do anything can really, really, really hurt. I think it’s personally worst for me because I can’t drive. When I say can’t I do mean can’t, not that I can but don’t want to even though I don’t but I really can’t. I was born with a bad right eye over the years it has gotten worst. (I am now legally blind in that eye.) When I was about 15 I was told that I would never get a license because of my eyes.

I have been working since I was 14 years old before I started high school. I thought I would always be able to support myself. I have always loved learning and usually was good at school. So imagine how I felt when I was faced with the fact that I’m not able to work a job or go to school. I was pissed, hurt, sad, and confused. How is it that the body of a very young woman (I was in my early 20’s) was behaving as though it was well past its golden years.

As of late my body has been getting worst and worst. My legs have broken down and the herniated disk in my back cause me so much pain that most days I cannot walk very far or stand for very long. It would seem that because of that reason alone I would not be able to do a lot of in-house or out-house chores.  So you would think that my family and friends would understand that I feel horrible about not being able to do what I want when I want. However most of the time I feel as though my family and friends really think that I am using them to do things that I can do myself.

There is a new grocery store across the street from my house. It is a blocks walk and across a street from my front door. However it is still too far for me to make it there with my body in the condition it’s in. A little while ago I tried to go to the store I made it to the dumpster outside my building and then had to turn around. I felt so defeated especially after I had to call a family member and ask if they could come from where they were to go across the street for me. I’m sad to say that this wasn’t anywhere near the 1^st time that I needed someone to do that.  I mean how crazy does that sound? Me who is suppose to be the oldest, the leader, the young vibrant woman who can conquer the world. How am I going to be all of those things when I am stuck in my house because my body won’t allow me to cross the street? The family member ragged on me. They made me feel so bad that I cried for like a whole day. I mean really, every time I thought about it I bawled. I just couldn’t understand why they couldn’t understand  why it was so hard for me.

Just remember family and friends out there even though we might look normal and put on a good front however we have moments some more than others where our bodies have turned so badly on us that we can barely move. Please be a help and not a hindrance. Love you much!