11/26/10
I know that this blog is about a black woman living in pain but I would like to remind you all that pain doesn’t just come in the physical form. With most families celebrating thanksgiving yesterday I know that most of us are thinking about our families and how much of ourselves we see in them. The pain that I felt yesterday was very emotional.
My aunt who is my aunt by marriage has Alzheimer’s and it’s pretty progressed not to mention that fact that she is in her late 80’s. Needless to say she has lost the ability really to move herself and she stays in the bed most of the time. My mother who works very hard at her day job then rushes home to take care of my aunt and she is sick herself. She is exhausted all of the time yet she has to do what she does because no one else is going to do it. Don’t get me wrong we help out when we can but my mom knows how to do what needs to be done.
That’s on one hand on the other hand we have my maternal grandmother who has moderate Alzheimer’s but refuses to accept the diagnosis and the prescription. Hers is not as bad as my aunt’s but it is bad enough where you have to have the same conversation with a couple of times because she has forgotten that she has just talked to you about it. Let me let you in on something about my granny; she is very umm let’s just say strong willed (to put it mildly). If any of you all have worked with, know of, or are a senior you all know that they are strong willed enough all by themselves. Well my Granny has been strong willed since birth and it gets stronger ever year and the more this thing progresses. Of course since my mother has her hands full with my aunt I have the pleasure of taking care of my granny. Going to the doctors with her and handling her meds and health insurance.
We just found out recently that she had Alzheimer’s but we have suspected for a while. I was speaking to a health professional about it because it runs heavy in my family and she shared some information she had received from a magazine article; which said that most of the time the people who take care of the people with the disease end up getting diagnosed with it themselves. So needless to say I am already scared because I know that my aunt has moments where she gets really riled up and she started off as the easiest to get along with person, so my granny is already hard to be around and I know it’s just going to get worst as time goes along especially if we can’t find a way to get these meds in her. Then to add to that I am thinking about what will happen to my mom once she gets older because she already is sick herself plus if this thing keeps running thru us (my family) like it’s doing then the chances are that her and I will get this disease are high.
You all know that I am in pain a lot but this kind of pain is breaking my heart. I almost can’t bear to watch this curse called Alzheimer’s rip thru my family that way it’s doing but I can’t let the pain stop me because it’s all hands on deck. I don’t really know how I am going to do this yet but it must work itself out right?
Shedding tears
A black woman living in pain
